Women Wish Men Knew These 5 Things
Hey guys, it’s me Alexa one of the best dating expert for men, and today we’re going to do some myth busting! I’m going to give you five myths that a lot of men believe are true, and after we do this myth busting hopefully you’ll get a clearer insight into the female mind.
Myth number one: hot women are harder to get.
In your mind, they are – you’ve created that, you've created that belief. You've presumed that because she’s hot, she’s going to go for men who are equally as hot or who are very, very successful. Or she’s going to be very, very bitchy – she’s going to really put you down, in fact she’s going to laugh in your face the moment you approach her.
I have a lot of beautiful female friends – we’re talking really outstanding, high grade quality here, and equally I have some less attractive friends, physically less attractive – beautiful personalities, lots of confidence – but, they’re not aesthetically what most people would consider as hot. And guess who gets approached most? Yes – it’s going to be the mediocre girls, because all the guys are thinking the same thing, they’re thinking, “I won’t go for the really hot friend, I’ll go for the one that’s just a little bit shorter, a little more friendly-looking.”
They’ve convinced themselves that the girl next door is going to be like the girl next door, super friendly and up for it.
“I’m going to go for her instead.”
So what happens is a lot of very stunning women out there are not approached – they’re looked at, people stare at them, but people don’t approach them. And they've got a lot of issues, they think maybe I’m not pretty enough; all my other friends who don’t model, who don’t get looked at as much are getting approached more, and maybe I’m not that attractive, maybe there is something wrong with me.
So I want you to just expel completely this myth that hot women are more difficult to get. It’s not true. I’m telling you, this is not true.
They get approached a lot less, so they’re actually quite a lot less cocky, they can be a lot less abrasive than mediocre girls; but more importantly, I want you to look at the reasons for why you hold this belief. It’s probably a way for you to stop approaching beautiful women, it’s an excuse. We create a lot of things, we say, “This person looks like they’re in a bad mood, this person looks like we’ve got nothing in common, this person looks like they’ve got a boyfriend, this person looks like they’re too intelligent/they’re not intelligent enough.”
We find a range, we’re very good at this, finding excuses – very, very good; and we find a range of different excuses, but I want you to use the fact that she’s beautiful as fuel. Use it to galvanize, to fuel your desire to go and speak to her, not to fill your head with excuses and limitations.
Myth two: women go for wealthy guys.
Ok, I’m going to urge you to watch my video about this, I did a whole video on wealthy, successful guys and how they don’t actually attract that many women. I’ll be brief for this point but you do have to watch that video if you want to get a little bit more clarity on it.
Women are trying to ascertain confidence and strength – strength of character, they’re also trying to see if the guy is unapologetic for his actions, his goals, she wants consistency – which a lot of wealthy men don’t possess –and she wants certainty.
So they are the four core values that women are trying to ascertain when in an interaction with a guy, not wealth. Wealth is usually indicative of success, success is usually indicative of confidence – so it’s a presumption that the guy’s confident, but if he is not showing confidence 5 or 10 minutes into the interaction its game over for him too. Watch that video if you want more information about that.
Myth number three: we will go for our type, we will ultimately go for our type, because that is what we are programmed to do.
Not true. If you look at my past boyfriends, if you line them up – you’ll notice there’s not much consistency between them, you wouldn’t be able to say, “Ah – I see a kind of type here.”
Not at all. Some of them were very successful, some were very unsuccessful, some were very hot, some were not so hot, some were tall, some were shorter – there’s no consistency. What they did all have though, was something called ‘game’, and actually that gave me inspiration for my book which was published in 2010 – I looked at what all these guys did, and I worked out that they all ran a form of ‘game’ and that it could be copied and pasted – it could be applied, it could be broken down in a step by step format and applied by other guys.
So yes, we do have an initial type, I have a ‘type’ – I know what my eyes are drawn to, there are certain guys that if they look like Christian Bale – yes, I’m going to look twice at him, that’s probably exactly my type; but, if he doesn’t have the qualities to match then I’m not interested.
Equally, I have been approached by guys who are not so good-looking, or they’re not my ‘type’ I should say – and after five minutes they’ve ran some high grade game on me and that’s it – I’m like complete putty in their hands. So yes, she might have a type – she might prefer black guys, she might prefer older guys, she might prefer white guys, rich guys, poor guys, all this is initial stuff, ok? It’s initial stuff. And you can’t let it limit you. You can’t say, “Well, that’s her type (or I’m presuming that’s her type) so I’ve got no chance.”
Nonsense. If you’ve got game, you will outmatch type any day of the week.
Myth number 4: Women want guys to agree with them.
Not the case at all. A lot of guys will bend their own reality in accordance with hers because they've been told; they've been fed this myth for long enough that you have to agree with a woman if you want to sleep with her. I can tell you now, I have never heard a woman say, “I just had to sleep with that guy because he agreed on every point that I made.”
When you start agreeing with everything she says, concealing your identity, concealing your opinions, your points of view – you go into the nice guy territory. Nice guys don’t get laid, ok? Nice guys carry shopping bags for the girl, but they don’t get laid.
And the nice guy is a very bland experience, so you’re going to stop trying to agree with everything she says unless you genuinely do agree – like you do with this video, obviously – but you’re also going to stop limiting yourself to finding commonalities. This is a big one – stop trying to work out if she likes the same things as you do, if you both like the same pizza topping, if you both like to visit the same city… irrelevant. I want you to find a connection, an emotional connection where you’re talking about your passions, you’re talking about your desires, you’re talking about the foundation of your goals, the root reasons for what you do, why you choose things – I want you to explore those; that’s a much more meaningful, stronger connection than just finding commonalities that you agree upon.
Last but not least, Myth number 5: Women want commitment.
This is slightly ambiguous, but yes – women do want commitment, but later on. A lot of guys will be like, “Ok, I am the full package, ready to go, I want a relationship. Surely she’s going to be interested now. I’m boyfriend material.”
It doesn’t work out like that. Women like to earn it, they like a challenge. So a guy that states he wants a girlfriend – it makes us feel like if we say yes, then we’re just going to be that comfortable pair of slippers he’s been longing to own for ages. We don’t want to be the comfortable pair of slippers, it could have been any girl. If he’s looking for a girlfriend, he’s just got a position open and he’s looking for it to be filled by anybody.
So it’s not very romantic. We want the guy who’s kind of open to the idea of finding a girlfriend, settling down one day – but he’s not handing it to us on a plate, we’re going to have to work for it, we’re going to have to prove it.
So please guys, do not do this, this is such a turnoff – do not sit there with a girl on date number three telling her how you want to get into a serious relationship – whether it’s with her, whether it’s directed to her, or you’re just talking about it in general; just don’t do it – because then we feel like it’s not a challenge.
And you might think this is fucking psychotic – this is what women ultimately want, why do we have to play these games? Tough shit, you do. If you don’t follow the rules, you’re not going to get a relationship. You have to make it seem, even if you're dying for a relationship – conceal it. You are one of those guys who, “Yes, one day I would like to settle down and have kids – but I’m in no rush to do that.”
That’s very attractive to a woman, it means game on, here’s a project, I’m going to get him – I want that one. We always appreciate what we have to work for more than something that’s handed to us on a plate, as you guys know.
So, they’re the five myths today. If you want to find out how you can start increasing your success rate with women, go to my website where you will find out more information about my products that I’ve created including eBooks and DVDs which cover a wide range of subjects. I hope to see you soon. Take care!